Woman Walks Out on Date After He Tries to Make Her Drink, She Calls Red Flags Early and Blocks Him

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    r/AITAH 7 hr. ago Bill548ThrowRA AITA for paying for my own dinner and refusing to drink on a first date with a guy?
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    I (24F) went on a date with a guy (26M) I met through a mutual friend about a year ago. We're both in college graduate programs, and he seemed nice enough when we were texting at the time, so I agreed to meet up for dinner.
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    When we got to the restaurant, the vibe immediately felt off. I had been there before and loved it, but something about how he insisted on doing all of these "gentlemanly" things threw me off. He kept mentioning how much the place cost and suggested we should order a bottle of wine. I told him I don't
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    drink because I'm not into alcohol (I never have been), but he pushed me to "loosen up." I stood my ground and just ordered water.
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    As the night went on, he got more frustrated. He kept making jokes about me being a "buzzkill" and how it "wasn't fun" without alcohol. We ordered he got a sirloin, and I got a New York strip. By the end of the meal, I decided to just pay for my own food because I didn't want him to feel
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    like I owed him anything, especially after all the pressure. Especially because I knew my bill was going to be higher because my steak was much larger.
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    When the waitress came back, I asked for separate cheques. He looked visibly angry, and asked why I didn't "let him be a gentleman." I explained that I didn't feel comfortable letting him pay, and I thought it was fair since I chose what I ate.
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    After dinner, he texted me saying I was rude for not accepting his offer to pay, and that I acted "super cold" by not having a drink with him. I blocked his number that day.
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    I've since never spoken to him again, but went out to that same steakhouse with my current boyfriend (28M), of 6 months, whom I happily let pay for everything and he made me feel like a queen all night, he still does, every day. He had a couple martinis but never pressured me to drink. He opened the door for
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    me and pulled out my chair. All things that the person I had been on one date with did. I only thought about it because we had the same waitress as I had on that first date.
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    I'm wondering if this double standard makes me an because I feel like one.
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    Hawaiianstylin808 7h ago • I mean the big red flag is you can only have fun if you drink. Your spidey senses were spot on. NTA.
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    shadowsandfirel... • 7h ago • When a man tells me to loosen up I immediately do the opposite. Make me feel comfortable, lol. It's like when someone says "trust me". If you have to say it...
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    • SpiceJinky 7h ago • NTA. You're perfectly entitled to pay your own way and not drink on a first date. His reaction was a major red flag.
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    ElbowDancer • 7h ago • Not at all. Good for you for having a solid gameplan for your first date and sticking to it. Rather than feeling like an , you should be really proud of yourself.
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    Upper-Set-5717 • 6h ago • You're definitely NTA! First date guy was a red flag parade. He pressured you to drink, called you a buzzkill, and got mad when you paid for your own food. Meanwhile, your current boyfriend treats you like a
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    queen and respects your boundaries. No double standards here, just a bad first date choice. You dodged a bullet
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    • DietAny5009 7h ago • It's not a double standard. One guy was a creep and one wasn't.
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    Charming_Sandra • 7h ago • NTA. You are not the . Your preference for not drinking alcohol and paying for your own meal is perfectly valid. The first date's behavior was disrespectful and entitled, while your current boyfriend
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    respects your choices and makes you feel comfortable.
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    Nolmagination7... • 7h ago I would have been out of there as soon as he told me to "loosen up"
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    --Robin • 7h ago • NTA. He sounds like a predator that was setting you up to get drunk then pull the "I paid [$X amount] for your meal - you owe me".

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